When Music Breaks Your Heart {open}

Several years ago I was glancing out the window in my study when a Facebook message popped up with a link to Gabriel’s Oboe, a composition by Ennio Morricone from The Mission movie soundtrack. I’d seen the film years before but did not remember this particular piece. It is simple strings and gentle notes from the oboe, resonant of the Angel Gabriel, after whom the piece is named.

As soon as I hit ‘play’ I began to sob. There’s no easy way to say that–the tears came without stopping from somewhere deep inside me. God began a healing process in my life because of that moment, touching a place that was wounded in ways I didn’t even realize.

Yes, music can do that. Break our hearts open, bringing healing as well as memories of joy.

Fast forward to last Christmas and a cube-shaped gift with Alexa inside. And by Alexa, of course I mean that little round white device with glowing blue/green edges who is at my beck and call whenever I’m in the mood for music. Our daughter and son in law gifted us with it because they know how much we like listening to music via Spotify and Pandora (we are so hip). The simple-looking disc was super slick to set up and connect to my phone and tablet and voila! she plays everything from morning meditation to Christian instrumental and the Moody Blues. Oh, and Johnny Mathis.

No matter what I say, “hey Alexa, play………” the music goes deeper than just my listening ears and often straight to my soul. When I’m fixing dinner I usually choose Johnny Mathis or Frank Sinatra because it makes me think of my mom. She’s been gone over 30 years but the songs she used to sing come right back to me while I’m waltzing around or chopping vegetables.

Music can literally lift our spirits.

The Psalmist King David wrote Psalms, often set to music, and also played the harp with remarkable results. I Samuel 16:14-23 records the effect of music on troubled King Saul. Bothered by an evil spirit, Saul asked for someone who was skilled in harp playing. David came and shared his gift with the King and (v. 23) Whenever the evil spirit from God bothered Saul, David would play his harp. Saul would relax and feel better, and the evil spirit would go away. 

“The evil spirit would go away.” Well, that’s powerful. Listening to declarative songs about who God is, what He does and whose I am definitely has that effect. This is one of those songs. 

But the music doesn’t have to come from a perfectly recorded instrument or production–sometimes the songs that move the most are those we sing in community with others. They often leave the most indelible touch on our lives.

When our daughter Leah had her first pregnancy loss at 5 months we held a service for this already-named child, Garrison Isaac. (Note: Mary Rebecca Elizabeth was born August of 2019.But that’s a whole ‘nother story.)

At the end of the memorial gathering, we sang a capella, “Sleep My Child and Peace Attend Thee,” an old Welsh lullaby. I nearly didn’t make it through the song, but we sang with our shredded hearts and tentative voices:

Of course, whenever I hear or sing that song I am right back in the small chapel where we gathered to remember Garrison. There is a deep truth behind those clouds of loss and worry, a declaration that reminds me of God’s constant care. A lullaby that breaks my heart {open}, and whose words go straight to my soul.

And oh, how we need that now. Open up your ears, throw your hands in the air and sing or listen or play……

Tell me, what moves you?